Anne Sagendorph

I have known Anne for probably 20 years. For as long as I have known her she has been a Business Coach.  She used to sit in my friend's chair and we would exchange hello's while she received a few variations of an asymmetrical, Sassoon cut.

One day, I decided to work with her as a client, and my business changed.  In my sessions with Anne, I became clear about, and acknowledged the value I offer clients.  My thoughts about my business crystallized before my very eyes, and I created a statement for myself and my business, that would symbolize this value.  I use this statement on my website.  It gives people a strong sense of what I do, and who I am before even meeting me. With Anne, I received permission to actually charge what I think my services, and time, are worth, which created a huge shift in feeling reciprocated, and loving my work even more.

I love my work so much, she eventually came to sit in my chair. Her hair seems to change as much as I see Anne shift within her business of coaching people. Now, it is not uncommon for her to ask for something different every couple of months to match this ever changing being. The change she would allow herself to move through in her work, is now reflected in her hair. 

We have uncovered her femininity, her angelic, whimsical, and playful self.  We've done splashes of yellow, magenta, olive green, and rose tones, some would say it's a funky look.  II don't know if her hair is funky, but it's safe to say she has found her "look", and yet delights in seeing a picture with short bang, and saying, "How about if we move in this direction."  This is a woman who could not bare to see her forehead, and who had one style for a very long time.

She is more herself today then I have ever witnessed her be before. She is sassy, adventurous, and smart, and truly gifted as a business coach.

You go Anne.  And thank you for the gift of doing your hair and trusting me to create for you.  This is a woman who redefines the age of 60.

For more information on the best business coach ever, check out:  www.beyondbusinessasusual.com  

Not a Simple Cut: Tales from a Hairdresser

The reading date is set.  It will be the first public reading, in a very long time, from my book.  I've been working on this project for10 years, and I'm focusing in on the first 100 pages to get it to an editor.  Although,I am thrilled to have the date set, and sure it is time to start building energy around the book, I am terrified.  The material has become much more personal than I ever thought it would, and richer because of it.  Do I really want my clients, who will fill the audience, to know me that well?

Ugh.  Self-doubt would like to settle in my body.  My brain wants to think it has control, by saying nasty little things to me, like, "Maybe it's too soon."  "You're getting ahead of yourself."  "You're diffusing the energy of the book, so it will be anticlimactic when it gets published, if it publishes."  Dealing with the demons are a full-time job these days.

Even so, I find myself talking about the date, and letting clients know. I've invited some friends from the Squaw Valley Writer's Conference to read with me, their company and support will be a great help.  You know sometimes you just have to do what you have to do, regardless of the fear that is the size of football in your gut?  This is one of those things, I've just got to do.

Oh, yeah.  The date is February 28, 2008 at Keter Salon 1815 Suite A Fourth Street, Berkeley, CA  94710.

More on No War and Hair Growth

Of course the presidential primaries have my clients talking, but what's got them saying, "Huh, what do you think about that?" is Hilary Clinton. The fact that she is smart, can debate with the boys, and shed tears on camera has caught the public by surprise.  And what was I just saying about the Princess dilemma, and my clients suggestion that maybe my daughter is simply manifesting the Feminine?  Perhaps this culture is ready for a change from the patriarchy.  I take issue with some of what Hilary doesn't offer, but I certainly think she can hold her own. Does she have charisma?  Not exactly.   Does she fill me with a sense of hope?  Not really.  Is it the fact that she is a thinking, feeling woman going to catapult her to sitting in the White House?  Possibly.

Maybe we are ready for the Feminine.  But the question I ask now is, are we ready for Peace?

My client growing her hair as a anti-war statement is still on my mind.  It's never been just about the hair.  People have been making their heads the centerpiece of their political, spiritual, and psychological expression for a very long time.  I am touched by my client's simple act. It's peaceful.

NO WAR- She's Letting Her Hair Grow

There are three clients who are friends, all of them are artists.  I respect each and every one of them for manifesting themselves as artists, who never stop creating. One of them teaches classes on Tarot collages, as a way of exploring the different cards of the tarot deck.  She has an amazing gift with the cards, some of the knowledge handed down to her by her mother, some she has learned in her own continual study.  She continues to study it, teach it and offer the knowledge to her friends and acquaintances.  I took my daughter to her to have her cards read when she turned three years old, the candle was lit, the table set, and my daughter picked the cards, and they were explained in a simple way.

She had an art opening Friday night called "Tarage" A Collabrative Tarot & Collage Journey, and her work, as well as the participants,   displayed well in this tiny room of the Oakopolis Creativity Center.   The collages were grouped by Major Arcana, and Minor Arcana, etc., all 78 cards represented.  Quite stunning !  She happened to be sick that night, so we thought she wouldn't show, her friends hung the show.

One of the three, besides the one who teaches, filled me in on the process of the workshop, and then says to me, "You won't be seeing be for awhile, I am letting my hair grow,everywhere, in response to the war in Iraq.  I will not cut it until the war is over.  I actually heard a mother and daughter interviewed on KPFA, who are doing the same.  I felt inspired.  It's something I can do."

We all have to find our own response, that something that we can do to say NO WAR.  Isn't art a response to war?  Creating pieces of beauty, so our minds can focus on what is right in the world.

The Taroist did show and sat, she didn't appear well at all.  But we gave her great encouragement, for she is a master.

More on Little Miss Princess

So a client came in today and gave another perspective about my dilemma regarding too much Princess identifying by my five-year- old girl. She said,"You know a spiritual perspective is that there has been way too much masculine energy running in this country, in the world for that matter...and that it is time for the feminine."

So, perhaps my daughter came in, completely got the program, and started running her feminine energy.  Not a girl acting like boy, or using her girlishness in a negative way to get what she needs, but simply expressing herself as a girl.  Innocence on one hand, and maybe a deep knowing on the other.  And the drama plays itself out until there is balance in the land.

Hm.

Feeling Poor and Ugly

Because of the way she carries herself, unafraid of who she is, unafraid of looking different, my client Francois is somebody I loved the minute I met her.   Always giving a yes to my ideas for her hair, after-all there is always a chance we shall land upon something better.

"A big girl" she calls herself, as if to saythe sensuality that oozes from every cell of her body, or the way her nose turns up, and her green eyes flirt, she will not get what she wants.

Artistry is the fiber from which she is made, generosity abounds beyond her ability at times and most people's capability, and yet where both are concerned she is an expert.

As she said to our friend, "It's one thing to be poor, but another to be ugly and poor."  Feeling the pinch financially, having the appointment set, but not knowing if she would be able to do it.  I bow to you Francois, and for me and your good friend to give to you your hair services because money is short...is nothing short of an honor.

I can only say, our ties go way beyond the confines of time and space.  We must help each other, and together is easier, even though individually we may hurt in our own particular ways.

Because it is the right thing to do.  And you would do the same for any of your friends.

New Year Musings

Last night was simple but sweet.  After riding Bart to the city with my daughter and meeting my partner in Union Square, in San Francisco, we visited the tree, the village scene at the Hilton, walked up to Chinatown, and had dinner at Kan's. By the end of our evening in the city, my daughter crumbled as we walked back to the car, and was snoring within minutes of driving home. I have to say, I had never seen so many women dressed in 3" to 4" spiked heels, and above-the-knee, lightweight, halter dresses at this time of year. I, who cannot stand to be the slightest of cold, dressed in five layers, two sets of tights, a hat, and my Z coils. I was glad about it.

I thought I would just go to bed when we got home but then thought better of it. I thought, no, even though I won't make it until midnight, ritual is important to me. And for the last several years, we have burned papers filled with what we want to let go of and posted what we want to bring in on the bulletin board, although this year it will go on my altar. Then we had a few little snacks, with some port and tea.  Then said good night.

This will be a wonderful year, with much to look forward to.  I hope to have my book completed this year, the completion of at least a ten-year project. I hope to do many readings in book groups, salons, poetry open mikes, etc.  I want to strengthen my relationship with my partner, my daughter and friends, and my Buddhist practice. I want to bring forth what I am to be.

And in regards to beauty.  Beauty in all its manifestations is vital to me, the expression of it is essential, and this has not changed. My ideas about Beauty are changing, and how mainstream they are, I don't know, they may be different than even my friends and colleagues.  But the idea that I could be wearing what I was comfortable in and feeling completely unique in the expression, I don't know, somehow, I felt confident, and like I had arrived in my own life.

Now, I want to give back.

And how I will do that is through my writing.

Good Fortune

The passing of another year.  Another year doing hair. Funny how my life not only speeds by, but that it didn't go exactly how I thought it would. My life is better for it to tell you the truth, I couldn't have imagined the great gifts in my life.  I do feel I am one of the luckiest people in the world.  I love what I do for a living, and am even more passionate about it today than when I first started 26 years ago.  And it's not just about the beautiful, fun hair I get to create, but the clients I interact with as well. More times this year than any other, I've had clients call or email to say they love their hair.  The gesture of taking time out of their day to let me know that is simply kind.

My client who says,"I'm known to have the cool hair now." Her last visit, she went on about how, "I have never been so consistently listened to in any profession or anybody for that matter, let alone by my previous hairdressers." I love that.

Not only do they appreciate me and let me know that, but they extend their loving gestures towards my family. One client in particular, throughout the year will make my daughter clothing, clothing she loves.  She hand stitches these garments, finds just the right buttons, the detailing blows me away. She knows what a little girl would love, or at least my little girl,  a box of ribbons for her hair, etc.

Another client gave her the most beautiful Christmas ornament for the tree. Exquisite, with a holiday beaded necklace for her that jingles every time she moves, all very tasteful.  This same client makes sure all the assistants, and the receptionist get a little something, this year it was a Pete's coffee card.  Not only does she book her appointments out a year, every three weeks, but she is generous each appointment. Last but not least, worth more than any and all of the above, she is pleasant to be around.

I am grateful for the work I do, the people I work with, and the clients I see.  I thank all of you for your kind words, the love you extend to me and my family, and the trust you place in me to create for you. I am a blessed woman.

Princess Christmas

More on the Princess theme.  So you do the best you can with what you have.  The fight against mainstream, corporate ideas like Disney, can be lonely.  Is it a battle I need to wage?  I think it's in my daughter's best interest that I do, but does it encourage a possible rebellion later, by not accepting her fantasy play?  While we are dressing for dinner, she is in tears because she wants to be as "pretty as me."  Where does the comparing come from? Before Auntie gives the gifts that are already wrapped to my daughter, she asks me, in front of her sister-in-law, "Is it okay if I give her the Minnie the Mouse dress and the Ariel dress as a gift?"  

I answered, "Well...okay."  They were already wrapped.  I felt like the evil mother.

Later, she brings out a coat for her, unwrapped.  "Can I give her this?"  The asking permission stems from already knowing the answer, but wanting to pursue the answer she wants to hear. 

"Yes, I'm sure she will like that.  Then maybe give the coat instead of the dresses, or just one of them."

"I asked you earlier."

"I know, but that is a lot of gifts, she will just be overwhelmed."

"Okay, well I don't know which one is which, so we will just flag them when they come up."

"Okay."

So, my daughter opens up the package, and it's the Ariel dress.  She lets out a cry of joy.   But doesn't put it on all day, thank God.  I think this is my problem.  I can't stand up to the pressure, and I can't let go of my belief that she is being spoon fed empty, uncreative play.  I am mushy all around and this makes me very unhappy.

As far as the comparing herself to me and others with how she looks, I hope this is not the beginning of an issue we will have to be contending with later. 

Is this what clients do, compare themselves to me, is there something I am exuding that creates this response?

Princess Overload

My daughter is just about five years old.  She is a charming, loving, and smart, and knows what she wants.  However, this stage we are going through now has me completely turned upside down.  She breathes, sleeps and talks Princess-- changing into Princess dresses that people have given to her immediately when she gets home from school.  The other day I thought I would fall over, grief-stricken, when she was dancing around and singing, "I'm a Barbie, I'm a Barbie."  My partner overheard and gave me a big smile, saying without having to say, "it's time you heal the princess within." The other day she talked about Princesses having long nails.  I muttered, "There are plenty of princesses that have short nails." 

She answered, "No there is not.  We are just pretending."

In the parent-teacher conference the other day they even said, "The Princess thing is a little over the top."  I exclaimed, "I know, and she doesn't even watch TV."

So where is she getting it?  The other girls, bill boards for more Disney films we see on the way to school,viewing Disney schlock at her Auntie's house.  What little she has watched has made a major impact on her psyche.  Are the pictures,and discussion amongst her friends tapping into the archetypal?  Or is my being a hairstylist and applying lipstick before I walk out the door contributing to her fantasies?  It appears there are lots of factors.

How long will this go on though?  I will be styling hair for the foreseeable future.  I've got to find a way to ask her about it, to have dialogue with her.  Otherwise, I will, as I have before, toss out anything smells of Princess in the wee hours of the morning while she sleeps. 

Is this a sign of our times?  I just don't remember identifying with princesses when I was her age.  The advertising, marketers have beat this one into the ground, and for what?  I'm saddened at the loss of their own pictures rather than Disney pictures in their head.  I'm saddened at the ways I contribute to keeping this story alive for her as well.

The Politics of Beauty

Beauty is ancient and yet so controversial. If I let on that  I am interested in it, I may be shunned or seen as non-progressive, non-feminist,or simply vein. Beauty, not just looking good on the outside, requires  a journey inward, a tapping into the mystical, ethereal world that lives within and across all time and place. Jewels line the path that lead into ones own inner life, if I am strong and daring enough. The jewels are bright and glimmer like sunlight when the darkness of the night comes.  I must shed all that I know,or perceive or have heard about what beauty is, and discover what is true for me--naked in the dark. The senses become pronounced, breathing becomes easier and enlivens my body, melting the delusion away.

But the ego doesn't want to let go, I want to hold onto the anger, it's much easier than looking at myself naked in the dark. Just keep breathing, that's it, let it all go. Pretty soon the eyes begin to  shine.  People want to know what I am doing. A man looked at me in the cafe this morning as I passed.

This pathway of breathing into my own awareness, stillness, and livliness, invites joy into my life.  It spills over and manifest itself in the detailing of the feminine expression, in whatever form that may be, whether one is male or female.  The obvious is through what fabric I drape my body in, and haircolors I play with, or whether I decide on layering my hair or not, short or not, etc. etc.  Beauty is the marriage of the internal and the external.

Ethics in the Chair, and Behind It

I have a colleague who is will be on maternity leave for four months.  I will be seeing some of her clients while she is out. I appreciate the referrals, of course. However, there are two, so far, who must blow dry their own hair, she tells me.  I'm confused here, I thought it was my job to show clients how it can look before they go home. These women are in their 50's or 60's perhaps, and seem to be very bright, competent women.  I don't understand.  Are they just unwilling to give up control for a few minutes?  Where is the insistence coming from?  And, most importantly, how do I want to handle the situation when they are in my chair? This is my profession, and they are in my chair...I want to blow dry their hair and complete the service.  I wouldn't think to tell a professional how to finish their job, especially if it had nothing to do with the performance later at home.  In fact, I need to blow the hair dry, whether it is worn curly and dried with the diffuser, or worn straight and flat-ironed.  I can see when I am drying it, where I might need to remove weight, or remove corners or, length...running my fingers through it allows me to know where I need to finesse the cut.

I'm conflicted about how to handle this with these clients. Allowing them to take control, and for me to stand back while they do this, feels funny.  Because they are not my clients, I feel I have room to say, "This is not how I do it."  Should the client have what she wants, and we do everything to provide that, including handing the blow dryer over to them.  This feels awkward, like I'm abandoning my professional ethics.  I don't want to give up control. 

 If I do hand the dryer over, than I feel that is when my service is over, and I leave the room.

Creativity

I had a dream, a most luscious dream.  Giselle and I were at her friends house.  The friend had wild fuscia and purple, frizzy hair, that pushed out from her scalp about four inches, then dropped into some length.  She wore flowing layers of similar colors to her hair. She appeared to be part of the surroundings, as the art, the walls, the furniture were all about color.  Not a square inch of the house was free of stuff.  Collections of various artists lined table tops and bookshelves. Abstract paintings in vivid reds,blues and yellows draped the walls. The back door was open to the backyard, and I don't remember lots of windows, but her home shone in a warm light.  Everything looked yummy.

There were even little plates of food in every corner. Pomegranate this and plum that, stacked on top of thin toasts, and sprinkled with cheese. The friend prepared more heaping plates of delectable treats and handed them to us to place on the table in the living room.  She prepared a feast for us. I wanted to taste everything,to touch everything, to let my eyes rest on every possible corner of this scene.  I felt at home.

Giselle and her friend have mastered creativity.  They are in touch with their own voice and their own expression of it, then they offer it to the world.  There is huge risk in the offering.  What if the world doesn't accept it.  But my mind couldn't even go there.  As I wiped the sleepers from my eyes come morning time, I realized that I am after my own expression, and be able to offer it to the world. 

This is where perhaps coming up with my own collections and photographing them might come in.  Editorial work interests me, and I've studied it a bit.  I've got to work on the stories behind the shots first.  I'm going to go get some make up training in February.  I'm inspired.

Spicing Things Up

 As a hairstylist, it is effortless to become lazy,negative, and uninspired.  Some of my styling habits are lazy, or I stop encouraging some clients to change, or I take the easy way out when under pressure--all these nowheresville tactics are called survival, but leave me empty.  I tell you, there is nothing more inspiring than participating in a professional development workshop to juice things up. I participated in a Creative Color class in San Francisco at The Studio.  Teri Dougherty taught 13 of us many creative color techniques.  Not only did I learn many useful techniques that I brought immediately into the salon, but Teri is a lovely person, with a passion for her craft, teaching, and her business, and it shows.  She has managed to manifest a life where she creates her own patterns of color, and cutting and gives that to the world.  I respect and admire the focus and attention to execute these ideas into a reality. 

I walked into the salon yesterday a bit more cocky, self-assured, and like I brought something to the table.  That something was an energy, a command with the hair, a fearlessness.  Two newish clients dawned vibrant colors, such as reds, and coppers, and blondes as they left the salon.  The patterning was such that you couldn't tell where the layout started and where it finished.  The pieces looked more like fettuccine, rather than spaghetti bits, it all comes back to food. 

Not only did I have a great time, I felt invigorated and I'm looking at Broccolini in a whole new way, thinking, "Hmmm...how can I translate this to hair color?" 

Thanks Teri. 

Check out her work!  www.teridougherty.com

Walking on Clouds

Last week, Giselle and I bought new shoes.  She brought me to Z-Coils in Fairfield. For months now, she's been talking about how I am going to love Compton, the owner of the store.  "Really?"  I said.  As we are driving there last Saturday after work, we talked and talked, relishing in being with each other outside the salon, and of course Compton. So we hurried in, and all I see are walls of neutral colored shoes, that at first site look like nurses shoes, or shoes that a really old person might wear.  Or worse yet, like some of the older women in Berkeley who've taken to wearing baggy clothes and flat, thick soled shoes.  I didn't know how I would break it to Giselle, but I couldn't imagine how I would, or could wear those shoes. 

I was timid in trying on any of them at first.  I watched Giselle try on a pair from the stack he had saved for her.  First the brown pair, and she oohed and ahhed, walking around the store.  Then the blue pair, again oohing and ahhing.  Both pairs have a visible thick coil you can see under the heel, wild and weird.

"Okay."  So, I tried the blue ones...the comfort went beyond any pair of shoes I have ever tried on before.  I didn't care for that pair, so I slipped on a couple more pairs.  Then, when I tried on the boot, I knew I'd be taking those with me. The coil is hidden in this pair, I've worn them everyday since purchasing them.  They are like walking on clouds.  They are odd looking, but odd in a sort of funky way.  They are not cheap, but I can see I will wear these as long as I am standing behind the chair. Every hairdresser should check them out, or anybody who stands.

I await the pair of Mary Janes that he is dying red for me. Oh yeah, I loved Compton.  He was the most helpful shoe guy I've ever met, and he is the kindest man.

Check it out! www.zcoil.com

Mirror-Mirror

I work in front of a mirror 24-4, it used to be 24-5 or 6.  It is everything but normal to be in front of the mirror this much.  In fact, I know I am a different person because of it. My mother used to harp on me because I tended to my personal grooming before doing chores.  She much preferred the sight of me working than playing.  I didn't see much beauty in my immediate environment-- I starved for my parents attention and emotional connection.   So I used my garments and my hair as a way to express some beauty, not really knowing what I was doing.  The act of beautfying myself emerged from a desperate feeling, and yet a place so deep. 

I came to know beauty early as a regime.  You bathe, you apply makeup, you put a lot of attention to what you wear.  I watched my four older sisters, who needed and competed for daddy's attention, it was all about adorning themselves.  We all left the house one way, and around the corner, we shortened the hemline of our skirts.

Even so, I disliked what the mirror reflected back to me, in fact, I hated what I saw.  Somehow, I knew if I faced into it though, a transformation could occur, therein lay a lifetime of work in dealing with the ego.  And even though I cut the hair of the neighborhood kids, and my own at age 11, I had no suspicion that my line of work would involve thousands of hours standing in front of the mirror and helping others make contact with the their own inner beauty.

I turn away often to what I see, I don't want to see.  And when I can look long enough, I don't know who it is I see, and I don't want anyone else to see me.  Each time feels different.  Already this feels like too much focus on the subject.  At some point you've got let it go.

What would it be like to have no mirrors?  

Power of Beauty

More on the subject of women's power coming from within.  A woman's beauty and power transcend age, wrinkles, and body weight. I hurt inside when a client pulls the skin back on her neck as I am showing her the silhouette of her haircut in the mirror.  And then, once we spin her back around, we laugh with a tinge of discomfort, she hands me back the hand mirror and proceeds to lift the skin on her forehead up.  This intimate, temporary, indulgent fantasy leaves me in a curious state of mind.

What will the wrinkle free face give her, besides a momentary sense of time standing still, or a delusion that she is indeed younger and not aging?  Will people treat her differently?  Is the dissatisfaction with the way she looks as an aging woman really only skin deep, gone the minute she goes under the knife?  It makes me shiver in my own skin.

What would it be like to have her take the mirror and not succomb to this cultures perverse pressure to be something we are not, to simply say, "I look and feel fabulous."

I wish it for us all.

Hair Flying

I've got twenty minutes to write.   Well, hum, I could write about salon politics, which seems to be prevalent.  Or I could write about a new client I had last week.  Luscious, thick, curly hair.  Lovely personality--witty, smart, creative and pretty, in a non-traditional way.  Her look was in-congruent with what seemed to be an alternative profession by dressing conservatively. Her voluminous hair sat heavy on her head, dragging down her already long face.  She was open and clear she wanted to keep length, so we did.  We layered, textured, channeled and lifted her hair, which took time.  A slight a-line, layered bob was the desired shape. 

To see her hair come to life by releasing it's swirls and arcs, and hair flying, an onlooker would think it was a well-thought-out choreographed dance piece.  Her hair came to life as we partnered in the dance.  We I handed her the mirror to look at the profile, she said, "I love it."

I thought to myself as she left, "This is the type of client I want to attract!"  

Everything about the experience left me fulfilled.  Boundaries existed, but they didn't color the whole event, and both of us appeared to be free in the time we shared.  Beautiful.

More please!

Hair in the Bay

This is old news now, but I feel compelled to celebrate the concept that salons can contribute to cleaning up waste, not just produce it.  I was called by my friend Laura, a hairstylist who now works in San Francisco. She alerted me to the fact that hair was being collected for making hair mats to help clean up the Cosco Busan oil spill in the San Francisco Bay.  We started immediately sweeping hair into bags and sending it off to the Matter of Trust organization.  Lisa Gaultier heads up this small nonprofit, and previously made these hair mat made from human hair and mushrooms.  The hair absorbs the oil, and the mushrooms will soak up oil and make for non toxic compost.

Brilliant.  It's people like this that use their minds for great things, that inspire me.  How else can hair salons clean up their act and produce less waste?  How can we become less toxic and still colour hair?  Is it possible?  What about the foils from weaving hair?  It wasn't until maybe three years ago, that I realized it was better to dump excess color into garbage, rather than the drain? 

The topic is large and painful to ponder, but how can I move this into action?  I would love to learn about any movement, organization, etc. that is educating hairdressers, passing legislation, offering workshops etc. about helping hair salons become Green and increase the awareness of their impact on the environment. 

I guess the simple question is what am I doing in my everyday life at the salon to contribute to the idea of less is more when it comes to our planet.

 www.matteroftrust.org

Nothing Changes

Louise became a client 25 years ago.  The hairstyles we've tried have varied little; a bob, a layered bob, a bob with fringe, maybe once or twice, a shorter cut with no weight line.  She colors her hair a bright bright orange, herself, and never seems to color it before she sees me.  There are always white roots to greet me, with very faded color on the ends.  Her hair is dry, yet not dry enough in her book since she insists on never conditioning her hair.  And this is the way it goes, nothing  changes and it's a slow death. A delightful slow death.  We have a rapport that has developed over the years--I could distinguish her laugh in a dark theatre, I know certain stories, because I've heard them more than once, as I am sure I have repeated a few of my own.  We have talked about life, and we have cried about love, and she is an unrealized songwriter.

She is loyal--I wonder why sometimes.  I don't suggest change often, I haven't suggested she come in and let me color her hair, and she is certainly one of the few people I don't talk to about product, even though I firmly believe her hair would look and feel like a million bucks.

What prevents me from shaking things up with her?  I suggest change 95% of the time with other clients, but with her I don't.  Some of life's challenges have forced us to grow, so maybe it is enough to wear mediocre hair, and allow mediocre hair be worn.  Besides, it is a relief to not always have to be on, and I see it as growth to just let her hair be simple.  We have an unspoken agreement, for now.