No Boundary

So, back to the personal question issue, which is inextricably connected to boundaries.  The boundary line moves depending on who sits in my chair, but there is always a line to be found that winds back and forth on itself, building a wall around my personal life.  So, how is it then, that this wall seems imperceptible to some, as if there is no boundary?  About once every six months, for the last fifteen years, a client has asked "When are you getting married?"  She insists that I need to, and now even more so because my partner and I have a child together.  Now she is at least twenty years my senior and works as a therapist.  Even as well as we know each other, I would never say to her, "You need to do this."  Nor would I assume that I would know what is right for her.  This topic feels personal to me.

And so, I answer with, "We're talking about it."  Hoping this will appease her for another six haircuts.  It's awkward every time.  What is my own privacy threshold?  If marriage feels to personal. and I haven't said anything to her, then there is no boundary.   Would a client say, "Hold it, that is too personal, I don't want to talk about that?

Posted on November 7, 2007 .