Posts filed under Love

Spring Is A Time For Love

"In dreams and in love, there are no impossibilities." - János Arnay

wisteria_love.jpg

Does spring ever make you think of love? There is nothing more beautiful on a woman than being in love, and being loved. This is truly an aspect of life that gets put on the back burner, ignored, and taken for granted, maybe even unappreciated. The frustration of not finding love may take over, and our beauty subsides.

How open are you to love and your loved ones? Daily work and responsibilities can get in the way of your heart opening to the ones you love most. What do you do to remind yourself of love and opening your heart again to others?

A Huffington Post article titled, "7 Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship," by Rebecca Lammersen, she suggest some expected advice on love.

Love is one way we can get in touch with our creative self and our personal expression out in the world, in our work, in our relationships. The article, "Creativity and Love," by Lee Irwin (SIRR AL-BASIR) is quite beautiful and honoring of this unique relationship within ourselves.  He says:

"We create because we want to contribute, to add a nuance of insight or artistic or scientific discovery to the whole, to create an alternative to suffering or a lack of vision, to respond to human needs. We communicate our creative expressions to enhance the vision of others, and we receive from others the benefit of their insights and discoveries. The medium for this exchange is a deeply felt appreciation and love, a thankfulness whose heartfelt intensity is a foundation for individual freedom. We are free to assist others, free to be in dialogue for the improvement of human life, free to offer alternatives whose impact may change an inherited way of life, free to love others and to assist them in whatever ways we may discover together."

Here are some suggestions to inspire love: yoga, flowers, surrounding yourself with beauty and nature, igniting the senses, laughter, good friends, art, dance, poetry to name a few. 

People finding "the one" brings such a glow, ease, patience, appreciation, gratitude and a generosity, not to mention a smile on one's beautiful face. Living a true relationship with oneself can bring that very glow as well. Life looks different through the lenses of love. 

This Spring I've had the great privilege and honor of meeting my friend Sunni Sukumar and his partner and relationship coach, Milan Botica. They help people tune into the one, which happens the be the name of their work. Click here, or pass on to your friends who desire a loving relationship.  

I wish all of you a life of love and creativity.

Enjoy the rest of Spring.

*New Wedding page here: shineforth.com/weddings with recent wedding and engagement photos.

 

Posted on April 19, 2016 and filed under Beauty, hair, Inner Beauty, Love, Self-care, Weddings.

Wedding Hairstyling

What I love about wedding hairstyling, is that you get to meet wonderful people, and be a part of a day that is to be remembered for a long, long time. I consider it to be an honor to be a part of the day, but to help the bride find a wedding hairstyle that will bring out her regality, and compliment her dress and theme for her wedding.

I loved Lindsay from the moment I met her, Ease, Grace, and Kindness, are words I would use to describe her.  I think she looked just beautiful!

Lindsay 1

Lindsay 2

Lindsay2 Lindsay4

She's Still Letting Her Hair Grow-Stop the War In Iraq

When Jeanne first walked into the salon to meet me for an update on how her hair growing process is going, she was dressed in her gray uniform from work, with her hair in a Twistie.  I told her I would be right with her.  As I finished up the short, sassy haircut on my last client of the day, I could see Jeanne's eyes peeking over the half-wall the cutting floor from the waiting area. Then, within minutes she was purring, barking, lusting after my client's short hair.  Her cries of desire left me with the feeling that the "grow out" as a stance against the war was waning. After I grabbed my bag, we head out into the sunlight, I could feel my skin, and all sensory neurons waking up, after a long day of being inside.  We embraced, I could feel the missing her right in the center of my chest.  As we ordered tea, and sat outside in front of Betty's Diner in Berkeley, CA, we got to the hair topic right away.  Basically, she is having a hard time with it.  She is a short hair kind of woman, long hair doesn't feel comfortable, or like an expression of herself.  Even more poignant of an action then, don't you think?

We talked about art, and we agreed we need to keep the art going.  But do we need to let the world know about our art?  She doesn't think so.  It's kind of like painting in back of the cave.  Paint because you have to, and for nobody else to see.  Somebody else will come paint over your work.  It's about the process, not the result.  Art for money?  That's a whole other conversation.  However, there are times we feel more private with our creativity, and sometimes we feel we need to let others in. We agreed we thought many more people would be functioning adults, had they had their voice come out through something they had created.

By the end of our conversation, Jeanne was thinking, maybe she just needed a slight trim to give it some shape as her hair continued to grow.  I agreed.  I said that is not a haircut, and you wouldn't be defeating the process.  Was it a plea for her hair, or about our connection.  She might be moving, and that would sadden me.  Maybe it saddened her as well.

We never did talk about the war.  It's almost impossible to let my heart fathom what has gone on in Iraq, and what continues to go on.  Not to mention what may be happening soon in Iran.  My own nephew joined the Coast Guard a month ago.  In his eyes, it was the only hope for a desperate young man, needing to feel worthy.

Posted on July 8, 2008 and filed under Creativity, Friendship, hairstylist, Love, Politics.

We Walk a Similar Path

However different we make think we are, it is minuscule compared to what we have in common.  Marcia Branca and I have known each other since 1988.  For twenty years our relationship has winded down a path that hugs the earth, and comes upon vistas that one can see as far out as eye can see.  When she first became a client, we realized we had a couple of mutual friends.  Her personal interests seemed to be similar to mine, and to the friends we had in common.  And although our relationship has not brought us together socially, it's as reliable.  It's as if each time, we fumble for a few minutes to see where we left off, but then quickly get back into a rhythm of sharing that makes us laugh, cry and remember why we carry on for this many years.

Some of the ways we knew each other were from unrelated arenas, giving us the feeling that really this is too much.  We have seen each other grow, and shrink, and grow again.  We both have one daughter, we both write, we both have a similar spiritual practice, we both paint, we both love travel, we both want something better for our daughters.  We have both dreamt, and have had our dreams shattered.  We are survivors, and after a kind of life that we catch glimpses of, and mirror for each other.

The other day, she did her makeup and I colored her hair and took a photo.  Because the time before, I colored and cut her hair, we applied makeup, and she looked fabulous.  The camera had no card.  So, this is what we captured this time.  And this is what she had to say about our presidential campaign:  Click here to download.

There is a certain kind of beauty in knowing that certain people you are sure you've known before, and will always feel a connection to, no matter how much time goes by, and how little you do see each other.  Thank you Marcia for the years of friendship, loyalty, trust and laughter.  You are a beauty.

Posted on June 10, 2008 and filed under Beauty, Friendship, hairstylist, Love, Loyalty, Politics, writing.

Hair Salon Personnel Change

Savanna, my anchor and colleague, is leaving the salon.  Her last day will be June 17, and it will be a sad day for me, although I am terribly excited for her.  Her, and her husband Jeff, are heading to the UK, where he is from, and where she has spent time. Her father is English as well.  Savanna is a talented hairdresser, who is down to earth, unpretentious, and somebody you want to know forever.  Her hair designs are creative, detailed, and daring.  Her bobs are perfect, her one lengths impeccable, and her short haircuts are original and well suited for the hair texture and the facial features of her clients.  And, she is a beautiful, genuine, gentle, and funny, and kind soul.

Then there is the way she dresses.  Vintage most of the time with a Savanna twist.  She will not wear makeup, if she doesn't feel like it.  She is regal, yet funky.  She is grounded and steady.  She changes her hair more than any hairdresser I've known.

Her presence in the salon will be missed by a lot of people.  Her level of care for her clients from the moment they show up, until the time they walk out of the salon, is superior.  She takes care of their hair, describing it to them at length to them, informing them of things they have never known.  I have never heard the cuticle of the hair be so interesting before.

Savanna's future will be fascinating.  She plans to go to design school, with an industrial focus.  She was already a painter before she studied hairdressing at the Paul Mitchell school in San Francisco.  Savanna and Jeff dined at our place the other nite, and as usual, there was lots of laughter, good food, and stories.  In true Savanna style, she walked in with a wet painting to which she had just applied the finishing touches.  It was an oil portrait of me, with my latest haircut and color.  I think she captured a lightness of being, that I will treasure for all time.

Thank you Savanna for your artistry, professionalism, care for people, your beauty-inside and out, and your dear friendship.  You are an inspiration to me, and words cannot define the deep level of respect I have for you.  And even though I shall miss you, I am proud of you for taking this leap.  I will see you in the UK.

Posted on June 2, 2008 and filed under Beauty, Creativity, Friendship, hairstylist, Inner Beauty, inspiration, Life, Love, Salon Life.

A Salon

Today is the day.  I have gathered some writers for an evening of wine, cheese and crackers, and words, in the salon where I work.  It's happening.  I can't believe it.  I am moved by the amount of support I have in my life, and a lot of that support is from my clients.  How can I thank them?   How can I let them know that without them, I don't know where I would be?  Their love and loyalty has helped to heal a broken soul.  I have come out the other side, resilient, passionate, and a great deal more self-confident. Self-confident enough, that I will share my pages with them, and let them see what goes on this heart of mine.  I will share my short comings, my thoughts about standing behind the chair, my feelings as I am doing so.  I hope for their hearts to be touched by my story, to tap into the universal story.

What compels me to do these things.   I'm not sure.  But I do know it is what I am here to do.  To create a salon has been one of my deepest desires for a very long time.  And to realize my writing life does not have to be seperate from hair, seems the ultimate synthesesis.  I don't have to run from hair to find myself.

Thank you to my loyal partner, friends, clients, coworkers, and SGI community.

Posted on February 28, 2008 and filed under hairstylist, inspiration, Life, Love, Loyalty, Salon Life, self-expression.

Barbie

Okay, I've been avoiding telling you this. But admission has to do with beauty, in some twisted way. On Sunday, my daughter had her fifth birthday party. All was well, her three friends, her Nana and Bapa, her nanny and her two kids, all came to celebrate her day. Her auntie came as well. Well, this auntie had different values, and struggles to keep in alignment with her values. Who am I kidding, we all do. But there is a way, she resists my boundaries with my own child. She has been wanting, and lamenting, that I do not want her to take my daughter to a Princess Ice Show. She says in front of the group, something like, "I've been thinking about this, and I think you need to not make this a big deal." Okay. I should mention, she has a masters in social work.

So, we have the cake, and then the gifts. I have to admit this makes me uncomfortable, and feel out of control. We all watched as my daughter, painstakingly so, unwrap her gifts, legs crossed and all. She is not a ripper, she, with care and ease, removes the tape, and so on. You get the picture.

She gets to the bag my sister gave her. It is full of individually wrapped gifts, excess is what she knows. First, there is a four strand bracelet, chunky in style. Then, a necklace, a jewelry box, a large floral print shirt that cinches in at the waist, with a three-inch-in-diameter sparkling, rhinestone ring, right underneath a bra line, is she had one. For a grand finale, a Barbie.

She unwrapped it, and, of course, she hadn't seen one before, as far as I know. She exclaimed, "Barbie!", like she was a long, lost friend. She wanted to open the box then, and there. I whisked it out of her hand so quickly, and said "Later, we have guests now."

I wanted to cry, die, and pummel my sister. I felt betrayed, and like her actions were passive aggressive. I couldn't even look at this Barbie. I flung it high up into the closet. The gifts felt like they were for a woman, not a FIVE years old. Not my five year old.

I did cry. I talked to clients at work. My grounded older clients said, don't sweat it. Let her have them. There is no harm done. The more you resist, the more your daughter will want them.

My partner said he overheard our daughter playing in her room. She was sitting on the bed, looking at her valentines from school. Of course, there were a few Princess theme valentines. She told them, "You know, my mama doesn't like you."

I laughed, and then I felt sad. I can't get nothing by her. She is tuned into me, more than anybody I know.

I came home from work on Monday, and pulled the exiled Barbie down out of the closet, and gave it to her. It is disgusting for me to look at, nothing real about her. My daughter is playing with it a bit, she complains that the plastic shoes come off too easily.

This is worth a therapy session I am sure. But for now Barbie has made her way into my home and I am bereft. and still digesting it all.

Posted on February 20, 2008 and filed under boundaries, Family, Life, Love.

Balancing Life

I've got a lot of questions today. The balance of writing, working behind the chair, daughter time and partner  time, let alone time for myself is one that is fit for the finest circus.  I mean and I love everything I'm doing.  Is the doing about the doing though?   What would it be like to not do for a change, or are doers always fantasizing about the possibility of not doing?  Is the doing a cover up, for fear nothing will happen?    Some would say, "Get yourself to a therapist, quick."  But I feel done with that for now.

I heard, while traveling in India for six months, years ago, "whatever you are here to do, will be done through you, whether you are consciously working on it or not." 

So does it happen unconsciously?  Is it magic?  Does it happen while I sleep?  A simple guided tour map of our life handed to us as we slipped into the world, would be helpful.  We wouldn't have to know all the details, that would be dull and boring.  But if we knew that we would be doing exactly what we are to do this life, we could relax.  Take a vacation, read a book with our feet up on the sofa, take more walks and breathe in more fresh air, snuggle with our lover, play with our kids.

So, do you think hearing that from the teacher has helped any?  I mean, I'm supposed to know it, right?  But I do what I do, what I think I'm supposed to do, creating my own reality, full of it's limitations, every minute.  Am I running from something, or to something?  If I stop long enough, I can see I am still with me.

How can I stop, when there is so much to do.  So many things in life I have yet to experience.  I want to do hair the rest of my life and do it well, masterfully.  Maybe I don't need to stand behind the chair 4/7.  I want to travel to Baja, with my family and see the whales birth, and visit the Rodin museum in Paris, visit Africa and look into the eyes of a gorilla, and smell the earth, visit my mentor in Japan and see the cherry trees in bloom.  I want to experience having a real conversation with my mother, without her talking over me, I want to meet with teams of highly creative people, talk to them, create together.  I want to finish my book, I want to...the list is long.  How can one stop?

I will continue to do because I have to.  A life not verging on insanity will have to come some other time. 

Posted on February 8, 2008 and filed under Dreams, Family, Friendship, inspiration, Life, Love, writing.

Gloria Heads

When I lay in bed the other day, sick with the flu, my five year old daughter brought a stack of books in to read to me.  When she was done with that, she brought in her "Gloria" head.  These are the heads we learned cutting on in beauty school.  She brought brushes, combs, clips and ribbons.  She climbed up and proceeded to give a class.  "You hold the hair like this, take this piece and move it over here.  Put a clip here." etc.  She said, "I amSavanna."   She has watched many Bumble and  Bumble classes at the salon, with Savanna teaching.  She has the mannerisms, language and dexterity of a true teacher.  She is sure of herself and gives clear instruction. 

In my flu stupor, I told her so.  I have to say, I felt better afterwards.

Posted on February 4, 2008 and filed under Family, Hairstyling, Life, Love.

Feeling Poor and Ugly

Because of the way she carries herself, unafraid of who she is, unafraid of looking different, my client Francois is somebody I loved the minute I met her.   Always giving a yes to my ideas for her hair, after-all there is always a chance we shall land upon something better.

"A big girl" she calls herself, as if to saythe sensuality that oozes from every cell of her body, or the way her nose turns up, and her green eyes flirt, she will not get what she wants.

Artistry is the fiber from which she is made, generosity abounds beyond her ability at times and most people's capability, and yet where both are concerned she is an expert.

As she said to our friend, "It's one thing to be poor, but another to be ugly and poor."  Feeling the pinch financially, having the appointment set, but not knowing if she would be able to do it.  I bow to you Francois, and for me and your good friend to give to you your hair services because money is short...is nothing short of an honor.

I can only say, our ties go way beyond the confines of time and space.  We must help each other, and together is easier, even though individually we may hurt in our own particular ways.

Because it is the right thing to do.  And you would do the same for any of your friends.

Posted on January 2, 2008 and filed under Life, Love, Loyalty.

New Year Musings

Last night was simple but sweet.  After riding Bart to the city with my daughter and meeting my partner in Union Square, in San Francisco, we visited the tree, the village scene at the Hilton, and walked up to Chinatown and had dinner at Kan's. By the end of our evening in the city, my daughter crumbled as we walked back to the car, and was snoring within minutes of driving home. I have to say, I had never seen so many women dressed in 3" to 4" spiked heels, and above the knee, lightweight, halter dresses at this time of year. I, who cannot stand to be the slightest of cold, dressed in five layers, two sets of tights,a hat, and my Z coils. I was glad for it.

I thought I would just go to bed when we got home, but then thought better of it. I thought, no, even though I won't make it until midnight, ritual is important to me. And for the last several years, we have burned papers filled with what we want to let go of,and posted what we want to bring in on the bulletin board, although this year it will go on my altar. Then we had a few little snacks, with some port and tea.  Then said good night.

This will be a wonderous year, with much to look forward to.  I hope to have my book completed this year, the completion of at least a ten year project. I hope to do many readings in book groups, salons, poetry open mikes etc.  I want to strengthen my relationship with my partner, my daughter and friends, and my Buddhist practice. I want to bring forth what I am to be.

And in regards to beauty.  Beauty in all it's manifestations are vital to me, the expression of it is essential, this has not changed. My ideas about Beauty are changing, and how mainstream they are, I don't know, they may be different than even my friends and colleagues.  But the idea that I could be wearing what I was comfortable in and feeling completely unique in the expression, I don't know, some how, I felt confident, and like I had arrived in my own life.

Now, I want to give back.

And how I will do that is through my writing.

Posted on January 1, 2008 and filed under Beauty, Life, Love, Loyalty.

Good Fortune

The passing of another year.  Another year doing hair. Funny how my life not only speeds by, but that it didn't go exactly how I thought it would. My life is better for it to tell you the truth, I couldn't have imagined the great gifts in my life.  I do feel I am one of the luckiest people in the world.  I love what I do for a living, and am even more passionate about it today than when I first started 26 years ago.  And it's not just about the beautiful, fun hair I get to create, but the clients I interact with as well. More times this year than any other, I've had clients call or email to say they love their hair.  The gesture of taking time out of their day to let me know that is simply kind.

My client who says,"I'm known to have the cool hair now." Her last visit, she went on about how, "I have never been so consistently listened to in any profession or anybody for that matter, let alone by my previous hairdressers." I love that.

Not only do they appreciate me and let me know that, but they extend their loving gestures towards my family. One client in particular, throughout the year will make my daughter clothing, clothing she loves.  She hand stitches these garments, finds just the right buttons, the detailing blows me away. She knows what a little girl would love, or at least my little girl,  a box of ribbons for her hair, etc.

Another client gave her the most beautiful Christmas ornament for the tree. Exquisite, with a holiday beaded necklace for her that jingles every time she moves, all very tasteful.  This same client makes sure all the assistants, and the receptionist get a little something, this year it was a Pete's coffee card.  Not only does she book her appointments out a year, every three weeks, but she is generous each appointment. Last but not least, worth more than any and all of the above, she is pleasant to be around.

I am grateful for the work I do, the people I work with, and the clients I see.  I thank all of you for your kind words, the love you extend to me and my family, and the trust you place in me to create for you. I am a blessed woman.

Posted on December 28, 2007 and filed under Life, Love, Loyalty.

Kitty Dies

As we cut her hair into a graduated, slight A-line bob, the tears flowed down her already tear-streaked face.  "I had to put my kitty down last night."  He was fourteen years old and had a cancerous tumor.  Through the last couple of years of battling cancer, he would still manouver his way down the steps to greet her when she came home, and Tina never asked how much the bill would be. The oncologist said, We're sorry, but he has a couple of days only.  She made a comfortable place for him on his favorite chair in the TV room.  She fed him baby food from her fingertip and they sat together and watched TV.  The oncologist and his assistant went to her house and put him to sleep. 

She kept apoloziging for her tears.  I said, "Your heart is open, this is a beautiful thing."  I was struck by her vulnerability.  She had never shown even a smidge of this side of her before.  In fact she said, 'I'm a schooled extrovert, I am an introvert really.'

Her ususal unruly hair that liked to kick out and not participate with the rest of the haircut, layed down, smooth and shiny.  Her hair had finally grown out enough to create this shape.  The  spunky ends didn't have to fight anymore.

Posted on October 26, 2007 and filed under Cancer, Death, Life, Love.